Frankie's Adventures and Misadventures : I had another dream about lions at the door They weren't half as frightening as they were before

Kenya

I think this is my third time to Kenya (maybe 4^th) and I was hoping to see the Great Wildebeest Migration.

A long day to get from Fort St. John to the Maasia Mara consisted of a 6 hour drive, 1 hour flight, 3 hour layover, 4 hour flight, a few hours’ sleep and then a 6 hour drive.

Tourism is way down because of security issue but the airport was chaotic as ever. After getting a visa there was a real ruckus at the airport and it was really fecking loud. But it was harmless, I think their national volleyball team won a tournament and they were celebrating with traditional drumming and dancing.

Ironically, I was at the Westgate Plaza when I was reading it was almost two years since those Al Shabab fuckers attacked the place.

After a few hours’ sleep it was a 6 hour drive to the Mara Maasi. As you enter the park you see some wildebeest, zebras, gazelles, giraffes and of course topless mermaids.

The next day it was a typical game drive. You drive across the savannah and see what you can see. It is mostly grazers and you hope to see the big cats or a rhino. Lots of Thompsons Gazelles, zebras, wildebeests, giraffes, elephants, goony ostriches and other boring ass mammals.

The best of the first day was seeing lions mate. The male had a package on him that would make Steve French envious. Lions mate several times per hour and it goes on for days. If there are other males in the pride the female will spread the love around to guarantee protection from all the other males. If it just a male and female there are scented candles, massage oils and Barry White playing on the back ground.

Day 2

Was more of the same as day one but I was hoping with the massive wildebeest migration that I would see a river crossing. There are something like 2 million wildebeests and 200,000 zebras on this migration (or this is what I counted) but it was late this year so of course I did not see any crossings. I did see lots of hippos (these feckers kill more humans then all the other animals combined but I am bit of a Hippo Whisperer so I was not worried) and I did see a big ass croc but the big ass croc did not do much of anything).

Even though it is technically winter it is still hot so we decided to go back to the camp (read modern lodge) and come back in the evening. I was debating just waiting to go back in the morning thinking that we are only going to see the aforementioned boring ass mammals. I was a bit groggy from a fabulous nap (people please understand the fabulous people nap fabulously) and out of nowhere a lone female lion takes down a wildebeest. This was amazing. By the time I shook off the fab grogginess it was too late to get it on film but I did manage to get some good footage of it taking it to the trees to eat. The lion was exhausted so I was pretty sure that could have wrestled the wildebeest from it but what the feck would I do with a wildebeest. I could see the lion scrap the carcass off with her tongue and dive in with the entrails going first. I was surprised that there were no other lions around or other scavengers like the hyenas. I hate those pricks. From their creepy yelps, eating their prey alive to a fecked up anatomy. For some goofy reason the females have a fake wiener that they give birth though. Next day there was only a few bones left from the kill.

Next day was more of the same but the highlight of this day was seeing a cheetah about a meter from me and saw two cheetahs dive head first into their kill.