Esos hijos de puta en España son para quemar en el infierno , pero les gusta la inquisición

I have to take pictures with my iPhone because some Spanish fucker stole my bag with my camera in it. Sorry that was crass and crude. I don’t know if he or she was from Spain so some fucker in Spain stole my bag with my camera and other crap in it. Nothing too valuable but that does not negate the need for the aforementioned fuckers to burn in hell. The below pictures are from Malaga and that is me playing the guitar. The bike is my sexy bike that I managed to take from Nicaragua and it cost about 4 billion dollars (USD) to get to Spain where thus far no fuckers have stolen it. 

I thought the picture of the priest was batman for some reason. The dog, no reason, too lazy to delete picture. 

Onward,

Rot Grün

I am reasonably sure that Red Green works for Airbus. I think the Airbus 380 has been in production since 2005 so I would think regular maintenance would be in order. I am a bit worried to take another flight however as they fix everything with duct tape. I am not making this up. The console was falling apart and sure enough they help it together with duct tape. Red Green would be so proud. Not sure about any engine issues but bale wire and chewing gum might work. Yeah Lufthansa.

What I see

This is not a great picture but I never get tired of seeing this when go into town.

Don Juan is Francis John MacDonald

I use to think I was an avid reader (at least when I am not working a rotational job) but I use to think I was a sexy bastard so I have seriously flawed thinking.

I had no idea that Don Juan was Mr. Juan. I thought that Spanish rascal was named Don Juan but I had to sign a legal document in Spain and noticed it was Don Francis John MacDonald. Now the lawyer was a really hot young female so I just assumed there was a message there. Boy was I wrong. So from the you learn something every day file. And what I learned yesterday was that the young, hot, female lawyer thinks I am a gargoyle.

I went back to Ronda. I think Hemingway wrote about the bullfighting there. I was there a long time ago and it was one of the places that I assumed that I would never see again but alas and alack I was there a couple of days ago. Charming as ever and always worth a visit. I was also back in Spain which is always a nice visit. The Costa Del Sol has its charms but you have to look for them. So many developments with expats all over the world with a huge British population so it has a tendency to lose it Spanish authenticity but it just call for a little more exploring. Perfect weather here. Locals complaining about the cold when it is 20 degrees out. Night are cool this time of year however getting down to 14 degrees, which I find refreshing. The Costa Del Sol is stilling smarting for the recession and the condo crisis but is clawing its way back. As far as Western Europe goes it is fairly cheap especially this time of year. A decent three stat hotel on the beach with breakfast was 35 euros a night.

Ronda

This is the Rock of Gibraltar

Ronda

Constantinople Damn it

I know how Turkey can defeat ISIS. Make the psychotic bastards (that’s right motherfuckers, I know you read this and you know where I am) check through a Turkish Airport. You go through 12 different check points to get to the gate and the 13^th check is to get on the plane. Mind you it is relatively quick and it is not all anal probes but at least half are.

And there always seems to some kind of ruckus as you enter the lounge. Maybe people are ornery after the anal probes. So today’s drama was some American or Canadian guy (let’s assume he was American because he was a weapons grade arsehole).  He was in the middle of the checkin not wanting to go the 6 inches to go into the lounge or walk back into the lineup because his wife was two persons behind him so he was causing a ridiculous stink.

Then some African dude barged strait through the line up so it looks as though he did not have a pass for the lounge which he did but did not want to wait in a 2 second line up.

Remember want your sensei taught you little Frankie I was saying to myself in Gaelic and stay patient. Feck off sensei I said out loud in Gaelic, there is free booze in there. Let’s get this line up moving.

 

Abu Dhabi right back at you

Besides only having Grade 8 I think one of the reasons I am a crappy writer is I don’t edit and don’t like to spend much time on the blog. It is not a labor of love but fussing over it seems to take the fun away. So I basically want to write as quick as I can about what I saw or the ladies that I made love to but now it has been 6 weeks that I have been in Amsterdam. So I am in Nicaragua, writing about Amsterdam with 6 weeks of Abu Dhabi in between. I feel like Solomon Rushdie.

The war was getting a bit too close for comfort in Iraq so I was transferred to Abu Dhabi. Not exactly a hardship posting but I would much rather Iraq. I have spent a reasonable amount of time in Dubai and there is not much difference to me between them. Architecture yes but I can't tell much of a difference. For some unknown reason I really don't like the place so I don't really give it a chance. 

But I don't think I will be going back anytime soon. So if my biggest complaint in life is working in Abu Dhabi there is not much to complain about save for my trick knee.

Zaffron

Iranian Saffron through a foggy lens

All that glitters

The world's tallest building and Dubai's small dick syndrome 

Not sure why but I think this is the ugliest building in the World or at least Abu Dhabi.

Ed Van Gough (Vincent's Brother)

You know you were in Norway or perhaps space travel if you find Amsterdam cheap. But it was considerably cheaper than the previous part of my trip. However, the hotels were almost as much and far less in quality.

I was here 22 years ago and remember the hotel as a bit of a hole as well. But still a great city with a panoply of cultural and historical treasures. And let’s never, ever forget the sex and drugs.

It is painfully obvious that I know nothing about art. In the past few months I have been the Picasso Museum, Van Gough Museum, Edvard Munch Museum and some other ones as well.  But I really can’t tell an amateur from the masters. I know you can say stuff like broad strokes and sullen earth tones but at times some of their work looks like the squiggly lines of a child to me. So if ever you want to pay 78 million dollars for squiggly lines please let me know.

I stand corrected. I think Amsterdam is the world’s most bike friendly city. And I think I am the world’s most ungraceful  jay walker. I have a tendency to look both ways even on a one way street. So I am dodging cars, bikes, people, trolleys and of course flying cheese with my head swiveling, my mouth swearing, feet tripping, and eyes crossing.

So 22 years apart and there did not seems to be a major difference for me. Still a charming city with canals, unique houses, old world aura, and flying cheese.

Not the Netherlands

Staircase of Death

Line up at Van Gough Museum. But not for Frankie, I bought a ticket on line and waited for about 15 minutes.